We need to normalize ending relationships and cutting people off that don’t serve us or don’t add value to our lives.

People are either in your life for a season or a reason. People will support you and root for you on your way up, but stop when you get to a certain point. Everyone loves an underdog until the underdog does better than them.

We look down on people who end relationships simply because they know they can do better and are choosing not to settle.

I've settled in relationships with people who don’t add value to my life. And for the season the relationship served its purpose. Once the season is over they are no longer needed.

This not only applies to romantic relationships, but also friendships, and family. Letting people go is part of growth, it’s shedding the old version of yourself. And I believe we need to normalize this.

Longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can either keep the relationships that don't serve you and be unhappy, which will impact the relationships negatively. Or you can be “selfish” & end the relationships in a civil way that way all parties can move on.

What happens to most people is they will be unhappy in a relationship for a variety of reasons, and you realize it’s not for you. For fear of being the villain, fear of being judged, or not wanting to hurt the other person’s feelings, they settle.

By doing this you’re doing a disservice to you and the other person. No one will be happy in a relationship like that if you’re unhappy.

Lesson I learned early on, you have to be the villain in someone else’s story so they can be the hero in their story.

Or many times they won’t bring it up at all to avoid conflict. That is unfair as well. If you’re unhappy, bring it to the surface right away. Don’t let anything sit between you and the other person.

What will happen is you and the other person will address it together, do the work that is necessary, and it’ll bring you closer together.

Or you realize that this relationship does not serve either party, AFTER you have done the work, and you part ways. [1] It will be messy, the majority of the time emotions are heightened but it gives the chance for both people to move on and find the person that can fill the role.

If you’re unhappy right now in a relationship you need to discuss it right away, rather than springing it on the person.

Truthfully, I am 100% content with being the villain, and I have held back my personal thoughts about things for a long time. I’ve experienced this myself, seen it with friends and family members, and the majority of people settle. When you settle it doesn’t set you up for success.

If you found this newsletter valuable, feel free to share it using this link: https://mohammedmalik.com/newsletters/b/atgonendingrelationships

Till next time,

M. Malik

P.s would love your feedback. I am thinking of changing the format of this weekly newsletter. Instead of it being the usualty long format, I wanted to switch to bite sized nuggets of insight and wisdom on how to improve your health, happiness, and cultivate self mastery.

It would be called "3 Point Thursday" where you get 3 small points on health, happiness, and self mastery to improve your life and live against the grain.

Would love to hear what you think about that. Any and all feedback is welcome. Just hit 'reply' and let me know.

[1] In my opinion, too many people give up easily. I believe in letting people go after you’ve done the work and tried to mend or find a different way through. I am not for cutting people out simply because you’re unhappy at the moment, letting you base programming and emotional self wreak havoc on your life. I am for people doing what is good for them after they have done the hard thing which is to do the work first.